When Women Say, “I Don’t Need a Man!” Are They Lying?
Five of the most irritating and hurtful words a woman can speak are: “I don’t need a man!” With all due respect ladies, that’s some fragernackle bull! Of course, you don’t “need” a man but the fact that you feel the need to say it implies that you have some serious man issues! I mean, seriously, it’s 2015, not 1950, we all know women don’t need men to pay their rent, raise their children, go out to dinner, or even climax sexually.
And when it comes to having peace in your life I’ll be the first to agree that a woman shouldn’t need a man to be happy. But why has this expression become a badge of honor for so many women?
If your goal is to attack the men who’ve hurt you, trust me, they don’t care. However, if your objective is to someday attract a good man, trust me, this attitude isn’t going to help.
Think about it, you’ll never hear a woman who is happy in a relationship say, “I don’t need a man,” because she knows she needs her man in countless ways. She needs him to feel secure, she needs his protection, she needs his example of a man for her children, and she needs his love and companionship.
But if you don’t have it, or have never had it, of course, you don’t think you need it. How can you miss what you never had? And how can you miss what you never hope to obtain?
Once you stop believing there are no good men out there for you, your whole attitude changes, and your energy shifts. Yes, I believe in the law of attraction and I believe having a positive mental attitude matters. Once you stop believing good things can happen in your life, guess what, it won’t!
The trait of a hopeless woman is to become bitter and desperate. We’ve all experienced the desperate girlfriend who contradicts herself over and over again. In one instance she proclaims she doesn’t need a man; yet, she’s constantly in relationships with all the wrong men. That only adds to her bitterness and disappointment.
If she believes she doesn’t need a man then it stands to reason she doesn’t believe there are any good men worth having, therefore any man will do. Hell, they’re all dogs anyway, right? Wrong!
The winners’ attitude is to believe that every man you meet is potentially a good man. Maybe not a good man for a romantic relationship or marriage, but he may be a good person.
To increase your odds it just makes sense to give him the benefit of the doubt. When you’re meeting a man the encounter shouldn’t begin with an expectation that he’s going to screw you over. That’s just being negative.
Just as women are exhausted from fixing broken men, good men are sick and tired of trying to convince women they are not like the others. We as men understand that some women have been through hell. We know this because at some point in our lives we were probably that man who took them through it. But just as we mature and learn to appreciate women, women must evolve and let go of their past and stop holding every man responsible for her painful experience, and to be fair, her bad choices.
Michael Baisden
Excerpt from my book, Woman Up, g