Should women expect exclusivity while dating?
Expectations are necessary when we think about creating boundaries and goals for our relationships. But too much of anything is a bad thing! Expectations destroy relationships when we begin to expect our partners to think, operate and love the way we see fit.
The issue with expectations is that they’re one-sided. They are predetermined obligations you impose on your partner without any communication. You expect them to text you “good morning” and “good night” – yet you’ve never discussed this desire before.
Meanwhile, a mutual agreement is something that happens after a discussion between all parties involved. With healthy discussion, boundaries and desires all out on the table, everyone can walk away knowing what is necessary for each person’s needs to be met.
If you find yourself frustrated and enraged, ask yourself: is the situation I’m upset about something my partner and I agreed would not happen or am I upset because of a self-created expectation about what should be happening?
When you begin to engage with your partner based on the narrative you’ve created in your head versus the person as they present themselves – that’s when you create tension in the relationship.
Talk it out and come to an agreement about exclusivity, frequency of communication and anything else that you need absolute clarity on – so as not to get distracted by illusions you create in your mind.
by Michaé Baisden
Visit the homepage of www.MingleCity.com and Join The Michael Baisden Travel Club. Go to Amazon.com and download one of my 7 books. My latest is, Woman Up! You Decide Your Life, What To Put Up With And When To Move On! My personal favorite is the ‘Fatal Attraction’ thriller, God’s Gift To Women. Make sure to purchase the Collectors Editions or Special Editions of my novels. Those versions have the updates.
Cheaters Aren’t Greedy, They’re Insecure! By Michael Baisden
There’s nothing worse than a liar because liars ruin marriages and destroy the self-esteem of the people they lie to. Women lie and cheat on men nearly as much as men lie and cheat on women. The difference is women rarely cheat when they respect their man and are happy.
While men, on the other hand, will lie and cheat because it’s Tuesday! The point being, most men don’t need motivation, it’s in our nature to pursue multiple women for sex. But it’s not in our nature to lie about it, that’s learned and it’s a symptom of a larger problem.
The truth is most men don’t have the intellect or resources to attract and maintain a relationship with a quality woman, so they create several relationships with women of a lower caliber to compensate. Or to be there to catch them when they bail out or sabotages the relationship. He’s not only immature but insecure. He wants to escape before he gets hurt, or before he is exposed!
At the root of all lies is insecurity. Men want to exercise their freedom to see other women but want to take away that same freedom from the woman. A real man will tell a woman straight up, “I desire other women, I’m going to continue to date and have sex with other women, and you can accept that and stay or keep it pushing!” Instead, he lies to keep her to himself. That’s insecurity, not greed!
This is why I advise women not to fall into the trap of arguing about monogamy but instead challenge men on the principle of fair play. Instead of threatening him to “Only want my Vagina, or else,” which doesn’t work anyway, remind him that two can play at that game.
Remember, ladies, you have options, too! Don’t you dare give them up until you’re sure he’s holding up his end of the bargain. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
~ Michael Baisden