On the latest episode of the Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith revealed what has kept her marriage to Will Smith going strong for the past 20 plus years. The two met in 1994 and started dating during Will Smith’s divorce from his ex-wife Sheree. They have been one of the public’s favorite Hollywood couples but have managed to keep the details on their relationship private until this episode.
On this episode of Red Table Talk Jada and her mother, Adrienne was joined by the famous couple’s therapist, Esther Perel. They all had a conversation about cheating that isn’t the typical view on the subject. To start things off, Jada discussed the statistic that 57% of men and 54% of women have cheated on their partners.
Usually, cheating is said to be caused by unhappiness within the relationship, but Jada explained a different view saying, “You might be married to someone that is just an innate adventurer like there’s just certain kinds of desires within that have nothing to do with you, per se. But they are personal desires that need to be explored in some manner. And even if it’s not necessarily an exploration that lasts forever, it’s an exploration that needs to happen to get through a passage of some kind.”
The ladies then continued to express that even though cheating can cause many troubles in paradise, it does not necessarily have to result in a divorce. They continue to discuss then how even outside of cheating, there are other hurtful things that can happen in relationships that cause much more damage than cheating. She clarified that there has been no cheating in her marriage to the actor, but there had been other “betrayals of the heart” that affected her just as much as cheating.
She explained, “I’m asked a lot about, is there infidelity with your relationship with Will and I’m like, no, but there have been other betrayals of the heart that have been far bigger than I could even think in regards to an infidelity situation. When you talk about contempt, resentment, neglect, it can just tear your world apart.”
For advice, the actress says that the key to having a better relationship is letting go of the stigma that all marriages are the same and have to look one way. Even though they began their relationship in a traditional manner, they soon learned that this was not a representation for them individually.
“That’s an important concept; specifically for me in regards to redefining my marriage as a life partnership, was the necessity of autonomy for myself and for Will, and finding the core of us that wanted to be together outside of the constraints of the traditional ideas of marriage because they weren’t working for us. We went on that journey of that life partnership to find that autonomy and to find the true authentic bond outside of obligation. I don’t want you to be obligated.” the 47-year-old explained.
Written by Imani Maxberry
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Why I Stopped Cheating
Many years ago, I was married to a beautiful woman from Alabama. She was older, mature, and played her role as my wife impeccably!
At the time, I was in my early 30’s working for the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) hanging out with friends and trying to figure out who I was and what to do with my life.
Unfortunately for my wife, she met me at a time when I was still immature. I didn’t appreciate her love and devotion, and I didn’t have anything to lose.
I didn’t own a home, I didn’t have a career, I didn’t have a reputation to protect, and most importantly, I didn’t have a vision for my life.
And that’s the point of this article. Most men don’t fear the repercussions of their actions because they have nothing to lose.
Yes, men can lose the woman they love and split their families, but men don’t think in those terms when they’re cheating, which should be obvious by the number of men who destroy their relationships every day with their infidelity.
In my opinion, until a man values his reputation and his integrity, he will never go through the process it takes to become a better man.
Don’t get me wrong, man do dumb shit regardless of what’s at stake, but the mature man will learn from his mistakes and realize that in order to build anything substantial it must be rooted in trust and honesty.
And here in lies the problem, most men aren’t involved in building anything or trying to leave a legacy. Yes, they have jobs, but most don’t have careers. Yes, some own businesses but they’re not growing them so having mediocre relationships and a mediocre reputation is no big deal. He’s comfortable.
But when you want to lead and establish something that you can pass down through generations you can’t afford to have people attacking you on social media, you can’t afford to have people showing up at your events shouting you down about some wrong you’ve done to them.
You can’t afford for some side chick to put you on blast for getting her pregnant or giving her a disease. Or for a man to accuse you of owing him money or screwing his wife.
My word is my bond, and my reputation is my most valuable asset. If you’re dealing with a man who isn’t passionate about doing what’s right and protecting his brand, then don’t be surprised that he constantly cheats on you because he has nothing to lose…that he truly values.
I appreciate your honest post it will allow other men to understand their major mistakes in their relationships!
Only a man who understand his purpose in a relationship will demonstrate great character, maturity and value for what he has in himself and most definitely the other person. this post.