Unlike the Vamp, who seeks out her victims, the official side piece is often chosen by the cheating man because of her willingness to submit to his way of thinking and his way of life. In other words, she is valuable only because she is subordinate and controllable. Women who fit these criteria don’t look alike, have the same body shape, or even the same level of education. However, there is one characteristic they do have in common, low self-esteem.
It can be due to physical unattractiveness, economic failure, inability to hold on to a man, or abuse from her past. The cheating man doesn’t care one way or the other. He will use whatever leverage is at his disposal to alter the relationship to suit his own needs, sexual needs, to be exact.
Remember, this is primarily what the game is all about. The other woman should not fool herself into believing she serves any other purpose except satisfying his sexual appetite and stroking his ego. If you don’t believe me, ask yourselves these questions as a test. Do I spend more than 80% of my time with him having sex? And do we spend the other 20% planning when we’re going to have sex again? If you answered yes, then you are the official side piece. It’s that simple.
Seeking out these types of women has become a ritual for 29-year-old Rodney. Every six months he sets out to find a new “other woman” to replace the old one. And he is very specific about what type of characteristics he is looking for. In his own words, “She must be moderately attractive, have thick legs, and love giving oral sex.” Oh yeah, he added one other requirement. “She has to be loyal to me; I don’t have sex with women who sleep with other men.”
I know what you’re thinking; “The nerve of this arrogant bastard to expect monogamy when he’s cheating!” But guess what, most cheating men have the same attitude. And what’s worse is that women fall for it! We’ll get more into the monogamous and non-monogamous relationships later. Let’s get back to smooth-talking Rodney.
It will come as no surprise to you that he is cheating on a woman he has been dating for three years. As a matter of fact, he’s engaged to be married in six months. I found this rather interesting, so I asked him, “Why would you plan to get married knowing you have no intention of being faithful?” His response was very revealing. “My fiancé is the woman I love, respect, and do nice things for. These other women are only for fun and games. They’re like toys I pull down off the shelf when I’m ready to play. And once I’m done, I just put them back on the shelf until I’m ready again.” Listening to this guy really makes you wonder, “What type of women would allow him to treat them with such a lack of consideration?” My guess would be, half of the women reading this article.
– Michael Baisden
To read more of Rodney’s interview download Never Satisfied: How and why men cheat? here:
“I’m sick and tired of fixing broken men!” Why Are Some Women Determined To “Fix A Dude”?
Some men are masters of deception. They rent expensive cars, wear fake jewelry and apply make-up to their fingers to conceal the tan marks from their wedding band. But most of all, they lie their asses off. Some of them lie so much they actually believe their lies are the truth. They can look a woman dead in her eyes with a straight face and create convincing stories out of thin air. But the most effective liars are the fantasy peddlers. They don’t date; they analyze and probe for whatever quality is lacking in a woman’s life and then morph into that character. If the woman says she wants to be married, he changes into a man desperate to settle down. If she says she is adamant about not sharing her man, he pretends to be the most monogamous man on earth. He is the consummate transformer.
But let’s be honest, men who cheat aren’t suave and debonair like James Bond and Denzel Washington; most cheaters are down right sloppy and arrogant. It’s gotten to the point where men have so little respect for women they come right out and admit they are married or have a girlfriend. And if the woman is desperate, lonely, or horny enough, it won’t take long to go from dating, to sex, to falling in love, to emptying her bank account if that’s his objective.
As women see their options diminish, hope begins to fade on ever finding a compatible partner. Some women approach being single philosophically and decide the universe simply hasn’t lined up properly for their ideal mate to reveal himself, or they accept that it’s not in God’s time. Others look at being single as an opportunity to take a break from men altogether and practice celibacy, while others throw up their hands and join the ranks of the ‘Other Woman Club’. The most desperate act of all is when a woman becomes so frustrated that she begins to experiment with same sex relationships knowing damn well she isn’t gay or bisexual. Eventually the majority of them will get bored with their alternative lifestyles and jump back into the dating scene looking for the perfect man to date, marry, or at least have sex with. And if they can’t find the perfect match they’ll settle for one with ‘potential’ and attempt to create their ideal.
I like to refer to this as the Fix a Dude Syndrome. That’s when women date men who they know don’t measure up to their standards but they try to talk themselves into being with him by focusing on one good quality. “I’m not really attracted to him but he has a good job,” they tell themselves. Or “He sucks in bed but he’s great with the kids.” Gimme a break ladies, it’s hard enough to maintain a relationship with the perfect man but settling for a guy who doesn’t stimulate you mentally or sexually is a recipe for disaster.
While I can appreciate the nurturing nature of women in trying to see the best in a man, not everything that’s broken can be fixed, especially a broken man. But the need to be loved or to have a warm body next to you in bed can be a powerful thing. Even when it’s obvious that a man is no good for a woman, she often continues to give him her time and her heart. She ignores her friends and her gut feeling that’s screaming: “Don’t do it girl!” and presses forward determined to make it work, and most importantly, to make him over. What could go wrong?
By Michael Baisden
Except from the book, Woman Up!
Click the link to purchase this and other books by Michael Baisden: amzn.to/2MD52QQ