She’s the friend who gives you advice on what rules you should have for your man in terms of curfews, same-sex associates, and how to train your man. And don’t let her see you bringing your husband or boyfriend a plate while he’s watching the game or playing cards, she will have a fit. “Girl, you’re not his slave. He has two hands and two feet. He can make his own damn plate!” Even though you are perfectly happy catering to your man the bitter girlfriend can’t stand seeing you happy and content.
And we wonder why more women are keeping their happiness and their relationships to themselves. The challenge of finding a good man is hard enough, and the last thing you need is a miserable, single friend adding her two cents and creating doubt in your mind. As much as women like to promote their love for each other, the truth is most women wouldn’t trust their friends with their man as far as they can throw them. A wise woman should always consider the source of the advice she is receiving. Unhappy people give bad advice, and so do people who have unresolved issues. Remember, it’s you who has to deal with the consequences of your decisions, not them.
I recall a story a female friend shared with me about an experience she had with her best friend’s husband. My friend, who is very attractive and shapely, was introduced to the husband at a kid’s birthday party. They had known each other for years, but she had never been in the company of the husband for any length of time, and by this time, my friend who was once married was now single. Anyway, to make a long story short, a week after the party my friend received a friend request on Facebook from the husband. Being a woman of integrity, she informed her girlfriend. But instead of commending her for being honest she completely cut her off. The five-year friendship abruptly ended. Instead of dumping the cheating husband, she dumped the good friend, what’s up with that?
Now, I know what you’re thinking; “She wasn’t a true friend in the first place.” And that may be true, but the other perspective is this: too often when a man comes between two women it’s the women who fall out and not the woman and the man who is creeping. Likewise, when women find love and happiness, the women who should be celebrating the most are throwing the most shade.
Some women do this on an unconscious level, not even realizing they’re negative. It’s no different than when you share your dream of starting a business and the first word out your friend’s mouth is, “What makes you think you can do that?” They don’t always mean to be pessimistic, but when you don’t have a dream of your own or a man who makes you happy, it’s always hard to watch someone else’s light shine when you are still in the dark. In other words, they’re not always hating on you; sometimes it’s the fear of losing you that makes them react negatively. Once I began to understand dream-killers from that perspective, I began to look at them through more sympathetic eyes. But it also made me more determined than ever to keep my happiness to myself and so should you.
By Michael Baisden
Excerpt from his book, Woman Up!
Click the link to purchase this and other books by Michael Baisden – amzn.to/2MD52QQ