Dating Is A Process Of Elimination! Don’t You Agree?
If you’re genuinely interested in someone to stop wasting time with small talk. Get down to the nitty-gritty from the first talk and save you both valuable time. Ask the questions you want answers to and don’t allow someone to be vague. Ask them straight up and don’t pause.
Are you married, living with someone, have multiple sex partners, do you have a stable job, history of mental illness, or been incarcerated? Don’t waste time on that basic Q&A crap, you should probe, dig, interrogate! And if they have a problem with that then peace out, see ya, adios, lata, and ba-bye!
Besides, how else do you get to know someone if you don’t ask about their perspective on belief systems, family, sex, racial attitudes, etc.. Don’t you want to know if you share an interest in sports, movies, politics, raising kids, social activism, and a multitude of other issues. In fact, I think you should beware of people who don’t ask questions.
Some people say you can learn more from observing than talking, and there’s some truth to that, but my attitude is why not do both. I mean, how can you measure the consistency of what a person is about if you don’t have any information to compare it to?
And if no one is asking about the other how do you create a dialogue to know what their values, habits, and insecurities are?
But maybe the reason why people don’t ask questions is because it doesn’t matter, they just want the sex, money, or are desperate to be in a relationship. But for those of us who value our time, health, and our reputations, we don’t give a damn how people feel about our interview process. We have too much to lose and no time for foolishness. Our attitude is, “I don’t know you…fool!”
Also, dialoguing gives you an opportunity to see if your partner knows how to engage in a back and forth conversation. You’d be surprised by how many people don’t know when to let the other person in.
You ask them a question and they go on for 5 or 10 minutes without taking a breath. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there holding the phone thinking, “Can I get a word in edgewise?”
Being able to have a conversation that flows is crucial in having a relationship. Your partner should be conscious of whether or not they are allowing you equal time to engage and respond.
A lack of communication skills has been the demise of many relationship, regardless of how good the sex is.
Lastly, beware of people who only talk about themselves. There are more narcissists out there than you can imagine. And that, my way or the highway, mentality can not only be irritating but turn into abuse.
Don’t give your heart and body to someone who doesn’t care to know your birthday, your favorite foods, or ask about your dreams.
~ Michael Baisden
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