Recently Common has been opening up about the troubles that he has faced physically and emotionally throughout his life. The rapper recently had an interview on The Breakfast Club discussing his addiction to love and that men too can be love addicts.
He also recently released a memoir called Let Love Have The Last Word spoke on these troubles and traumas in his life including that he has been subjected to emotional abuse and molestation. These issues, ultimately followed him through his everyday life and love life.
In the interview, he discussed how he realized he needed to seek professional help and here he learned how his past truly has affected him. He realized here that he had a unique addiction, not one fueled by alcohol or substances, but by love. He had no clue that this addiction existed until his therapist brought it to his attention.
See the video below.
He explained that the addiction was based on the intense emotional connection and not the sex. Every women he fell for provided him a temporary fix to his problems but when real problems surfaced he was not willing to put in the real work to fix the situation.
The 47-year-old explained, “The pattern I found myself in—and my therapist broke it down—was the feeling of being in love and that honeymoon period. I was addicted to that feeling.” He continued, “When that feeling would go away and the real part of the relationships came, I was like, ‘OK. Do I want this or not?’ I wasn’t ready to do the work.”
He explained that he did care for the women that he fell for but just neglected to really look in on himself and asses his own faults.
One of his addictions was to the singer Erykah Badu. He recently revealed that their split was his first heartbreak. He explained, “With Erykah Badu, that was my first love where you’re just open and floating. When we split, I was 27 or 28. I was in a haze, just going through the motions. It was hard to eat.” The two dated for two years prior to their split in 2002.
However this isn’t the one that brought him to his tipping point.
Still he says, “It wasn’t her fault, the relationship just didn’t go forward. He admitted, “I was in another breakup after that that was heavy,” he says without specifying which relationship. “That one honestly is what sent me to therapy.”
Now after therapy, the Chicago native is now open to dating again, “I’m open to a relationship now. I know how to communicate like an adult now. I want to be the best partner I can be.”
He even received relationship advice from our former first lady Michelle Obama, “She said basically that sometimes when you’re looking for the right person, you’re not always looking for perfection because you’re not perfect. You gotta be able to look at someone and see all the great qualities and the things that you may not have; you allow them to be who they are.”
Common had a public split from the political commentator, Angela Rye. They both have been pretty quiet about it and claim to remain friends. They were supposedly seen at the Potter’s House Dallas recently, enjoying a sermon from T.D. Jakes side-by-side in the pews according to XONicole.
Written by Imani Maxberry
What The Messy Divorce Of Jesse Williams & Aryn Drake-Lee Taught Us
Jesse Williams filed for divorce two years ago, and ever since the couple’s relationship has been a headline. Thirteen years and two kids later, the pair have been publically having financial disagreements.
Recently, People magazine reported that Williams asked the courts to deny Aryn Drake-Lee’s $200,000 request for attorney’s fees.
Last June, People reported that “Williams was ordered to pay more than $50,000 per month in child support in addition to the $50,695 per month in spousal support that he has paid Drake-Lee since January 2018.”
Williams reacted, stating “this isn’t a free ride” in the court documents.
This month Drake-Lee spoke with People to give us her experience.
“When the divorce process started, I had two nursing babies, and I am the one that ran our household for the 14 and a half years that he and I were together in the same house. And for our children, and for the creation of the businesses that we built together when I left my career in New York for us to move to California to pursue his, and then, as a result, built it…I knew, as the one that was really holding it all together, that I didn’t have a lot of room to fall, even though I was falling.”
Drake-Lee also admitted that the divorce was an incredibly isolating situation.
“I was in a place where I needed the support that was going to help to ground me. Most everybody I had spent the eight years here in LA with all went with him.”
In the end, she saw the events as a watershed moment. “It was a blessing in disguise because it was a real slap in the face to see who was around us and why, and at that point, it became very clear. And it cleared a pathway for me to make a shift and get back onto a path that was more in alignment with how I wanted to live my life” but in the end just proved to her who her real friends were.”
Drake-Lee admitted that the Hollywood scene was never for her.
“Hollywood and I bump heads. It was never my value system, and it was never something that I was striving for,” she says. “It never felt comfortable for me because of how superficial it was. And then that all became abundantly clear when everybody went left,” she told People.
An accountant discovered that Williams earns more than $520,000 per month. In April 2017, Drake-Lee asked the court for $27,000 more in child support and an additional $200,000 for her attorney’s fees.
After reports of the financial back-and-forth, Drake-Lee wants people to know the truth.
In her interview with People, she said, “Much of what they say is wrong. But I’m not interested in a tit-for-tat, because that’s just never-ending. People believe what they want to believe because it’s easy.”
The pair did not sign a prenup when they got married, probably because they had been together so long prior to the marriage. Sadly, because there was no legal document detailing
Important financial and child custody information – the two have had to have this very public, complicated divorce.
According to Spodek Law Group, 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Sixty percent of second marriages fail. So why are less than 10 percent of couples filing for prenups?
Nearly 62 percent of people in a recent survey said that the request for a prenuptial agreement sends a negative signal to the other person who hasn’t requested it. Sixty-three percent of people believe that they would be at a higher risk of divorce if their partner asked them for a prenuptial agreement.
Hopefully, the stigma around prenups can be forgotten. Prenups aren’t just to protect assets. Prenups also:
- Preclude costly court battles
- Define Marital property
- Protect the interest of the shared children
- Protect the interest of children from the previous partner
- Define future alimony
- Protect against debt liability
Williams addressed the crumbling of his marriage and cheating rumors on Jay-Z’s Footnotes for 4:44 the visual counterpart to JAY-Z‘s last album. “I was in a relationship 13 years, 13 real years, not five years, not seven years – 13 years,” Williams told cameras. “All of a sudden motherf—ers are writing think-pieces that I somehow threw a 13-year relationship. Like, the most painful experience I’ve had in my life like with a person I’ve loved with all of my heart – that I threw a person and my family in the trash because a girl I work with is cute.”
Drake-Lee is now interested in owning her story and not letting the media do it for her. Her new podcast BBSARETRASH (Babies Are Trash) is an honest conversation about “healing through mothering.”
“I think a lot of women are still in the place where we’re pretending like we can do everything. And it’s not realistic, and it’s not holistic, and it’s not sustainable,” says Drake-Lee. “I want to empower women to find their voice, to take the mask off so that they can really find the connection and the community that they’re seeking.”
According to People magazine, “Williams and Drake-Lee were granted joint legal custody of their two children in August 2017 and joint physical custody in March 2018. The agreement stated that Williams and Drake-Lee must alternate custody of the children for major holidays.”
Want more of Drake-Lee’s interview? Read more here.
Written By Michae’ Baisden