Can Having Too Many ‘Single’ Girlfriends Keep You Single? By Michael Baisden
The word “friend” is one of the most misused words in the English language. We are quick to call someone friend without really knowing who they are or if they have our best interest at heart. Some people believe the true test of friendship is during hard times such as when you lose your job or need a place to stay. Supporting someone when they’re down and out is familiar territory for most of us; it’s instinctual to want to rescue someone from a disastrous situation.
But bad times only reveal a person’s compassionate side; after all, you’re worse off than they are. So yes, it can be a measure of friendship but in my opinion, there’s nothing more revealing about a person’s true nature as when they notice you are happier than they are and there’s a new man behind that happy glow.
Let me be clear; there are plenty of women who are genuinely happy when their girlfriend has a good man in her life that she is excited about. They share in her joy and wish her the best, regardless if they are in a relationship or not. True sisterhood is all about wanting to see your girlfriend with someone who makes her smile and who impacts her life in such a profound way that it positively affects everyone around her.
The idea that all women are jealous of each other’s happiness is ridiculous and stereotypical. So, let me be clear that I am not lumping all women in together. Mature and secure women want to see each other happy, period!
But there’s another side to this story. The part where women tear each other down, attack, discourage, and even attempt to destroy each other’s relationships. An example is when you share with your friend that you’re going through a tough situation with your partner. A true friend would encourage you to work it out and most of all, tell you to take responsibility for your part in the problem. The dramatic girlfriend only sees one solution to the problem, “Get out!” they tell you. “You can do better than him.”
Some women transfer their bad experience onto their girlfriends and try to justify being negative by telling you, “I’m just looking out for you.” But in reality, these pessimistic comments are nothing more than veiled jealousy to keep you from reaching the level of happiness that she never could.
Then there’s the sabotaging girlfriend. She’s the friend who gives you advice on what rules you should have for your man in terms of curfews, same-sex associates, and how to train your man. And don’t let her see you bringing your husband or boyfriend a plate while he’s watching the game or playing cards, she will have a fit. “Girl, you’re not his slave. He has two hands and two feet. He can make his own damn plate!” Even though you are perfectly happy catering to your man the bitter girlfriend can’t stand seeing you happy and content.
And we wonder why more women are keeping their happiness and their relationships to themselves. The challenge of finding a good man is hard enough and the last thing you need is a miserable, single friend adding her two cents and creating doubt in your mind. As much as women like to promote their love for each other, the truth is most women wouldn’t trust their friends with their man as far as they can throw them.
A wise woman should always consider the source of the advice she is receiving. Unhappy people give bad advice and so do people who have unresolved issues. Remember, it’s you who has to deal with the consequences of your decisions, not them.