WHY DO SOME WOMEN FEEL AS THOUGH THEY NEED A MAN???

THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN ON MY MIND HEAVY FOR QUITE A WHILE. I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS WHO FEEL THAT IN ORDER FOR THEM TO BE ABSOLUTELY HAPPY THEY NEED A MAN ON THEIR ARM AND INSTEAD OF WAITING AND BEING PATIENT THEY IMMEDIATELY FALL FOR A GUY WHO GIVES THEM ANY ATTENTION AND THEN THEY ARE HURT WHEN THE GUY LEAVES AFTER HE HAS GOTTEN WHAT HE WANTS... SO MY QUESTION IS "WHAT MAKES A WOMAN FEEL AS THOUGH SHE NEEDS A MAN?"

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Comment by Miss Atl on August 11, 2009 at 12:29pm
Thanks for making that destintion..
There IS a difference and we often blur the two.
No one or nothing..can or should be in control of your own personal happiness!
That includes : children, husband, wife, job, house, car, money ETC.
It's a thin line and we must find balance within our own spiritual life (which effects our emotions) to know that even without all of the above we can still be happy!
With that being said... the man has a needed place in the family dynamic that is valuable even today, although soceity has tried to demonstrate otherwise.
What a mess we have made!!!! May God have mercy on us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Stevie Friday on August 11, 2009 at 10:03am
Maybe I need to clarify my post for some... When I posted this blog I had in mind my friends that look to a man to make them happy and keep them happy. When they are w/out a man they feel bored, lonely, unattractive, sexually deprived and so on... everyone has been in this situation at some point in time. I have offered advice to my friends telling them that maybe, just maybe, they need to take this time and find out what makes them happy, focus on self, get to know God at this point in time, maybe this is the time where you grow mentally and spiritually! They take this tad bit of advice, apply it for a couple of days and then they are back to square 1 with "I need a man so that i can feel _____ or because I'm _______!" Basically all i was trying to get at was why do some women base their value, worth, happiness, meaning and beauty on whether they have a man or not...
Comment by Miss Atl on August 9, 2009 at 5:03pm
P.S.S. There are the same woman who have placed more value with..
1. Submitting resumes & going on interviews- getting jobs
2. Going to school/colleges & universities
3. Going to banks getting loans for mortgages etc...
To become INDEPENDENT & self reliant often through what that the White man overseas, just to acquire homes, cars, clothes, and the like............but they so easily and without hesitation
won't place ANY VALUE on their own black men.
While we all must do what it takes to survive - and often do.
2 heads are better than 1.
At the end of the day.........I wonder which one of them will get the 'I DON'T NEED A MAN' reward & I wonder if it will be worth it?

Maybe they should take a listen to Luther's ... "A house is not a home" CD


And by the way, I have the home, car, the degrees and own my own business - raised my 23 yr old daughter by myself with God's grace & mercy. - but I don't place more value on inanimate objects than I do people!

Men are valuable and needed!
Comment by Miss Atl on August 9, 2009 at 4:30pm
P.S. Now excuse me while I run down to Home Depot and ask the first man I see...

"How do you boil water".. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Miss Atl on August 9, 2009 at 4:26pm
I repeat... there is a difference in letting a man know HE is needed VS DEPENDING on him!
We so-called independent woman have went from A to Z with this topic; and it has absolutely ruined our family dynamic. If we admit to being woman enough to let a man know he is NEEDED we are accused of being incomplete, emotional, and desperate!
There are plenty of WHOLE woman today on their grin' - holding it DOWN! and have their head on straight so as not to fall for the first thing in pants. It's NOT about him COMPLETING HER! -- that's were these superwomen get stuck! It's about a family dynamic, a human to human relationship of the opposite sex.

I'am waiting for these woman to find a way to ERASE GOD'S word - that IT IS NOT GOOD FOR MAN(that includes WOMAN) to be alone. - since they have found a way to do everything else.

Either you brag about how you don't need a man OR your'e desperate! - if you respect the fact that there IS a NEED for the man in the family dymanic!

And that mindset is largely responsible for why families are in the MESS they are today!!

I for one am woman enough and secure enough in my own right to be able to shout from the mountain tops that MEN ARE NEEDED!!!!!

P.S. And the role that they are NEEDED goes above and beyond what is in their pants or their wallets!!!

So to any real men that may be reading this and keep running into these ' I DON'T NEED YOU" woman, don't be discourage - their are still some of us 'INDEPENDENT"/ STRONG - MAKE IT HAPPEN WOMAN WHO STILL NEEDS YOU!!!!!
Comment by MARLA O'HARA on August 9, 2009 at 10:31am
So many women feel incomplete and have bought into the notion that a man will complete them. The truth is, a woman has to learn how to be complete in and of herself. When she does, she will then attract a man who is complete. As long as a woman is fragmented, that's what she will attract...a fragmented man. One half plus one half makes two incomplete halves...not a whole.

Too often women settle for anything, just to keep from being alone...and nothing is worse than being in a relationship and still being lonely, still feeling empty. Too often women get tricked by men...tricked into thinking he wants to take care of her in exchange for sex on demand. She moves in, his rent/mortgage does not increase, his light bill, gas bill same as before. He pays to get her hair and nails done in exchange for sex. She's being tricked. He's taken her off the market, out of circulation (afterall she doesn't dare bring a male friend into his domain...if she meets a friend somewhere, she's cheating). Guess what??? He'll never marry her. She will have everything but his name! And he'll have sex when he wants it, a maid, cook, dry cleaner, massage therapist, psychologist... all for a place to stay...biggest trick in the book. Some are so smooth, they have been able to get her to do all this and help with the bills...and she still doesn't have a husband or a covenant. It's called a "committed relationship!" LOL...
Comment by Miss Atl on August 8, 2009 at 12:28pm
You know something, I think this is what is at the heart of the detoration of the black family.
Needing someone and depending on someone is 2 different thing!
Our grandparents had little trouble letting their husbands know that they were 'NEEDED" !!
YES... NEEDED!!
When you NEED something you tend to VALUE it and treat it accordingly!
When you don't need something you tend to easily misuse it, abuse it or even throw it away!
We as black woman stand so tall and so proud and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

BUT...
We have crossed the line!! Why in the hell would a man stay around if he is constantly feel like he and all he has to offer is not needed.

We ALL NEED each other is some regard as humans!!

Children NEED their parents - although they can make it without them it they had to!
Employers NEED employees - although they can get on their grin if they had to
Employees NEED employers - although they can start their own businesses - if they had to

And YES!!!
Woman NEED MEN - although they can hold it down solo if they had to!!

So I wish black woman would quit this ' I DON'T NEED A MAN CRAP'!!

And if my comment is so full of BS and off the wall ... just take a look at the black family and you will see that I ain't trippin!!

P.S. The next time you clean out your garage... ask yourself WHY AM I THROWING THIS AWAY???

Maybe it's because..........YOU DON'T NEED IT!!!!!!!
Comment by Ms. Simpson on August 8, 2009 at 10:35am
The problem is that some women haven't realized that you cannot rely on another person for your happiness, because people can change at any moment. Most people think that they will find someone to make them happy, rather than having happiness already. Your mate should enhance what you already have. I have gone through so many things alone, and done so many things alone that it's like second nature for me now. At the right time I would love to have the man that God wants me to have, but until then I will be alone. I am finding myself, and finally comfortable with me. I take myself to the movies,dinner etc. and I feel so good that am finally here. I don't feel like something is wrong with me when I am taking care of myself. Women just have to learn to truly love themselves and I don't mean in a conceited way, just to love themselves enough not to disrespected , and not be someone's doormat.We as women naturally desire attention from the opposite sex that is how God made us, and remember how our Dads used to dote on us, but the problem is how we react to that attention. It doesn't mean that as soon as some man gives you a little attention and tell you a few kind words that you are now ready to jump in bed with him. That is where the problems come in. Just take the time to develop a friendship, and if he keeps coming around he might be a keeper. I just speak for myself, and I know I am happy when my son and I hang out together, or girlfriends or just me. I pray that God will send me the right man some day, but until then I am happy just the way I am. I am so very down to Earth, but I love me so much.
Comment by ssandra-"God's Gift" on August 8, 2009 at 1:42am
It's a sad fact. Some women do believe they are not complete without a man? that B.S! They have a lack of insecurities. And these are the women they go through alot of pain and heart ach because they have never stayed alone to look in themselves for competion. And when they do they then can have a good man thats "WORTHY" of them and will appreciate them for the long term.
Comment by summer breeze on August 8, 2009 at 1:07am
Peace,

Dear heart, we can't deny what our CREATOR has made for us. A woman need a man and a Man need a woman, to say anything different is like telling our CREATOR that HE is wrong.


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