Where are all the good single men? Why are they still single? And what do they want?

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Comment by Darrell Joyce on February 5, 2010 at 11:20pm

@Mscottjr

Bruh, women try to move in way too quick! Lock you down! In love after a couple good dates. Wanting you to make definitive decisions on what has little or no foundation yet. I find myself distancing myself from women who get the goo-goo eyed look too soon. Decent men are out there, but don't start digging those claws in too soon or we sense a trap and escape into the night. I took a woman on a date, and she brought up how cute our kids would be before we got 6 traffic lights from her house. DATE OVER! Straight to voicemail.

Comment by Southerngal on February 5, 2010 at 5:32pm

Still, that nagging question keeps popping into most men heads: Should I settle down? Should I give up my freedom? Should I start the search for my soul mate and willingly kiss my single days goodbye forever?

I think alot of guys has been tied down so long and married...Now that they have gotten loose .The
last thing on their minds are relationships and commitment....Their having to much fun now ..it is breath taking for those thats been tied down ...for them to be once ......single and free to be me...

For others men or picky just like the wome are...Their not in a rush to get invovle to quick..Men like exploring their options....and getting to know these women to make better choices....

Comment by mscottjr on February 5, 2010 at 4:37pm

Well what I believe is that there is simply not enough of us to go around. I saw a special on the news about this very question. They determined for every 1 single african american black man their are 12 single black woman in american. That includes the guys in jail and that makes it even less. So that is why black men can afford to date, have intimate relationships with as many woman as we want to. We can afford to be picky, we can even be jerks if we want, and women will have no choice but to accept it. So its really leaving black woman no choice but to either wait for a good black man or date outside their race. I believe I am a good black man. Im 33, single, college educated, own home, no kids. It is very hard to meet a good woman because I find so many ladies I talk to are so desperate to be in a relationship with a man that it ends up turning me off.

Comment by Shimera on February 5, 2010 at 4:31pm

Jo Jo you hit the nail on the head!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Darrell Joyce on February 5, 2010 at 2:24pm

Evidently, they are all out shopping for shirts and protein shakes! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Jo Jo on February 5, 2010 at 10:37am

Here are my thoughts...

I think people need to stop trying to figure out this love thing. There are no special ingredients to finding a worthy mate. God designed men, women, and relationships and will determine the appropriate time to bring them together. One just cannot assume that there is a particular place and time to meet a special someone. When it is your time it will all come together. I strongly believe black women are extremely closed- minded and sheltered. We spend more time trying to find the impossible rather than spending time exploring self, desires, and dislikes while waiting on what belongs to us. Singlehood gives you the opportunity to discover more about yourself (hobbies...etc). It gives you the opportunity to chase your dreams and goals. If you're bored without a man/woman, you will certainly be bored with one.

Comment by Poetri on February 4, 2010 at 11:06am

Dremac1.0, I agree with you, however I am not that woman. I have never and never will date a thug, Its not attractive to me and never has been, even in my younger years. I don't want the "bad guy" There is nothing that the bad guy can do for me except bring trouble to my door step and I'd rather not have that. I am old fashioned. I don't want to just date for the sake of dating. I am 29 years old, it's time for me to settle down and be with the man that God has created for me, however I am not seeking that man because I believe what the bible says. A man that FINDETH a wife. All women are not the same. There are some of us out here who are good women. I'm not now, nor have I ever been, nor do I ever plan to be a "ride or die chick" that's not me. I refuse to be with a man who is dramatic. Personally I am attracted to intellect, and it doesn't have any thing to do with his dress... You have more chances of getting me with your mind. If you can attract my mind the rest MAY follow. It's not a guarantee but I want a man who is ambitious, honest, loyal, loving, not afraid of committment, and LOVES GOD.---that should have been first. As I've said in a previous post, I have no problems submitting to a man as he submits to God... but God has to be a part of the equation or else a relationship with the best man in the world will go wrong... so Brotha, please know that all of us women are not the same. There are some of us out there who aren't gold diggers, who aren't liars, game players, fakers or whatever else you can think of... I know who I am and what I want in a man and as lonely as it gets sometimes I won't settle just because!

Comment by Jam on February 4, 2010 at 8:43am

Sometime we have to leave that comfort zone, when I believed I was living the God life I turned my nose up to anyone who went out the clubs, bars, anything then I finally came to my senses that I was jealous and upset that they were having fun and I was stuck with church two days a week not happy at all but pretending.
I did wait until my children where grown and away from home because it was important to show them both sides of the world. Now I'm having the best time meeting people all types colors style bars are not bad as I thought try it if you don't like it try something else. Oh yea I'm married sometimes we go together and have a ball.There's dancing clubs,face book, my space,bars, clubs all types of meet and greet places.I even went skiing never skied before but I was invited and it was a great time listening to people stories abut lives. Try something new this year.

Comment by Valerie Clark on February 3, 2010 at 9:34pm

I would love to meet a good man, but they are few and far between. I really don't get that chance anyway becuase of my job. I work in a Rehab/Nursing facility in which the men who come are married or already in a relationship, and are there to visit family. I don't go to bars, becuase I am trying to get my Bachelors Degree. My life is work, school, church, shop for essentials, visit a friend or two, but mostly home is where I can be found. I have seen some guys in passing, but they have someone on thier arm, or are on the phone with that person. I know I need to get out more, but it is really hard when you don't have the energy or the drive to try after meeting so many people when the first thing I have heard is, you mean you don't have someone taking care of you? You have got to playing! And then the words are, you women need to stop lying about ya'll not having a man. I know there is somebody waiting on you somewhere!
I do my best to be honest with people, becuase I want the same, but most men I've met have tried to have their cake and eat it, just because of the ratio of women to men. All I want is someone I can cuddle with at night, and make him happy while he's making me happy! He can have money, or be a working man, as long as we can be truthful, trusting, passionate, and monogamous, I would think I had won the lottery!!

Comment by dremac1.0 on February 3, 2010 at 9:01am

Poetri my sista, when women of this age start acting and treating men like your grandma did then that's when will go back to those days. Most of you women have no respect for a real decent brotha'. I see alot of ya'll on here running your heads about how you want a good brotha, but you(not you directly)pass by the good for the bad. Any fool who looks exciting. Got his thug on. Or maybe the brooks-brotha', fakin' in nhis suit and tie. I got a home-boy who treats women like shyt and he has to beat them off with a stick. Married one's, so-called holy sanctified church going ladies, single women.

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