Should Your Lover Also Be Your Best Friend?

For the last few days I have spent a lot of time talking with co-workers about relationships. I don't know why. Its not like I am an expert. Hell if I knew anything I wouldn't be in this mess I am in now. I should be the poster child for what not to do. I can see a picture of me in a dunce cap with the caption that read "Marriage. What in the hell was he thinking!" In speaking with my co-workers I realized that my wife and I are not friends. We have very little in common, we don't do anything together, and instead of growing closer together we have grown further apart. That made me think about how important is it that your lover be your best friend.

Maybe I am having a Michael Jackson moment and being to darn sensitive. Is it me or am I on to something. Your lover needs not only be able to satisfy you in bed but be your ride and die. The friend you can call on any time you need. That friend that would support you in the best of times as well as the worst of time. Oh my God. I feel like Oprah. Does anyone have any tissue or a small sandwich. Being a man I was taught that your best friend was a man that you can play ball with, share secrets with, and use as an alibi when you are out creeping. But now that whole image of a best friend seems distorted. All I know is I want the person I love, who I am willing to give my all too, who I am willing to die for, and I am willing to work my fingers to the bone for to be my best friend. And I promise to be her best friend in return until God calls me home.

Am I wrong or am on the right path of finally understanding what love is really about? I like to her your opinion.What do you think?

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Tags: dating, love, marriage, relationship


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Comment by Solitaire on May 31, 2010 at 1:42am
Your mate is suppose to know you inside and out. This is the person that says they love you and you love them. There should be no highs and no lows they haven't experienced with you. My wife and I are not friends and don't share anything in common any more. Our relationship is more like a roommate relationship. I don't want to be like Marie. I want to be in love and committed to the love of my life. I want to wake up with them on my mind and go to bed with them on mind because they are my lover, my friend and my bestest of friend.
Comment by ILoveA1000Times on May 30, 2010 at 2:05am
Comment by Solitaire on May 29, 2010 at 11:08pm
I didn't look at it that way Candy, but you are right. If you can't talk your supposedly best friend whose is your spouse who can you talk to. That is how Jodi gets into the picture which complicates matter worst. Good point.
Comment by Solitaire on May 29, 2010 at 10:09pm
I am glad to see that I wasn't the only person who felt that way. I am not saying that you can't have any friends outside of your spouse whose your best friend. And I am not saying that you can or have to tell your spouse whose your best friend everything. But what I am saying is that your spouse should be that one person whom you can count on. Life is a difficult journey. Traveling it alone is very much possible, but its whole lot better when you have that one special person you can share the trip with. Enjoying the good times. Seeing each through the hard times. Yeah. That sounds about right to me.
Comment by ClAsSy_FeMaLe_VA on May 29, 2010 at 5:20pm
ITA with you. My expectations of a spouse are in sync with yours. Best wishes, you're on the RIght track.
Comment by lonnie kevin riddles on May 29, 2010 at 5:09pm
thats a serious question in this day and time but the answer is yes because your lover is supposed to be someone whom you care for that feels the same about you stirring from a relationship born from a friendship what i mean to say there is supposed to be more between the two of you than a condom you should know love and cherish whom you choose to sleep with just as much as they do you before you give the most precious thing you have on earth to them and in this day and time you really need to know who you are loving and who's loving you if you dont have a friendship bond you really dont have anything and if you are going to put your life in the hands so to speak of a friend it should be no other than your best friend
Comment by Lady"G" on May 29, 2010 at 2:00pm
No you not, I feel the same way.
Comment by Spiritus™ on May 29, 2010 at 10:42am

If your lover is not your best friend, who else can be?

Think about it. This is the person that sleeps in the same bed next to you when you are the most vulnerable. This also the person who sees you in your birthday suit, warts, moles, cellulite, fat rolls, shrunken penis, loud farts and all.

If she ain't your best friend, who else can be?

Comment by Solitaire on May 28, 2010 at 2:03am
I can agree with that. Because there are things you can't even tell your best friend regardless of there sex.
Comment by Super Mom on May 27, 2010 at 3:42pm
Your lover should be your best friend but you should also have your own friends espcially of the same sex there are things that your lover may not understand especially if they are of the opposite sex.


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