It’s not your baby, Fool! The emotional and financial cost of paternity fraud



During divorce, child custody and child support issues go beyond who will pay child support and/or have child custody. Paternity fraud is when a divorcing husband suspects that he isn't the biological father of children that were born in the marriage. Paternity fraud can be literally lying, or offering fraudulent information, about the father of a child or children.

Paternity fraud often becomes an issue when relationships end and financial and custodial obligations for children must be divided between spouses. Generally, to commit paternity fraud, a woman must knowingly falsely indicate the father of a child. Motivations for committing paternity fraud may include maintaining a relationship and receiving child support payments.

There is no doubt that child support payments are important and that their loss will harm the child.

State governments have begun, slowly, to respond to this issue. Georgia passed a law in 2002 that allows courts to terminate child-support obligations of men who can prove they are not the fathers. Maryland allows an unlimited time period for challenging paternity, while the legislatures of other states have considered similar measures.

Is fatherhood just a matter of biology? Of course not - when a man has filled the social, emotional, and psychological role of a father for a child for some period of time, then for all intents and purposes he is the father and child support payments can be fairly demanded (but does that exclude any obligation from the biological father?

So what do you think?

The problem here is a very fundamental question of fairness. No matter what happens, someone is going to lose. On the one hand, it certainly isn't fair for a man to be forced to pay child support for a child who isn't his. If a DNA test can be used to establish paternity and force a man to make such payments, why can't it be used in the reverse?

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Comment by Lawrence D Jackson Jr on January 24, 2010 at 12:04am
I''ve been falsely accused of child support...and never seen the child. Went to jail for it.For 20yrs of my life,I had pay for this in N.J.. Now I hear the child is with her real father. God don't like ugly.
Comment by Spiritus™ on January 22, 2010 at 12:22am
It isn't a mother's personal business at all. If she is having a baby and the father is not present, there needs to be a law that requires her to tell who the father of the child is, so that the state has that information in the event that said father does not voluntarily pay support.

When a child is born to a mother without a father present or in the picture, at the minimum, that child is denied a basic right to know who his/her parents are. The states must protect that. It is a child's right PERIOD.

The mother of that child owes that duty to the child. She must give up the name of the father to the state - and that is the bottom-line. No ifs, ands, or buts.

She had sex with a man. She must disclose the name of the man so that the state can put that on the child's birth record. It should and ought to be a civil right.

Once she names the father, then the state must take immediate action to make sure that the man in question is actually the child's father ---- this way, the correct person is on the birth certificate and if child support is sought, then the State knows that the correct father is at least, financially supporting the child.

Let's all STOP ducking the issue. It isn't about the rights of a woman or a man --- it is about the rights of a new-born child and making sure the correct father is disclosed. Many women are afraid or ashamed to disclose who their baby-daddy is either because they screwed around with so many men during the time they conceived or they were cheating on their husbands. The state must end that by collecting DNA samples of both parents and confirming parenthood. It can be done and must be done.

  1. It will make it clear who the parents are.
  2. It will make certain that both parents support said child.
  3. It avoids naming the wrong father and in some cases the mother.
  4. It is the basic civil right of a child to know who his/her real parents are.

No excuses here unless someone is afraid that the real father of her child will be known by her child, or someone is afraid that he would have to support his offspring. No matter, the State owes one of its citizens that information --- ACTUAL FATHER AND ACTUAL MOTHER ON BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

Comment by MZ Young on January 20, 2010 at 7:59pm
I went through this with someone and he was not the father and the female told the child (boy) that the test was a lie and the he just dont want to be your father anymore after 7yrs the man the boy lived with him from the day he came from the hospital and after he went back to his mother every other weekend solely providing for him she never had to buy a clothes or anything for him. But she will not tell the boy who his real father is and have not apologized at all
Comment by Waterbaby2 on January 20, 2010 at 6:25pm
This is probably the absolute worse thing that can be done to another human being. Lying about the paternity of a child is horrible and unfair. First of all the economics of this situation is staggering. The hearts of the grandparents will be crushed once the truth is found out not to mention doting cousins, siblings and additional family.

If I were a man, I would want to be told even if you only (think) you know. It only takes a moment to bond with a baby.

The laws are such that after a man has paid expenses for a child that is not his - once the truth is told, he can not request his money back! Again, this is so unfair and heartless.

Please don't do this to these children - tell the truth, everyone will be better off.
Comment by Karen Cook on January 20, 2010 at 6:15pm
I FEEL THE MAN SHOULD ASK FOR A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN. IF HE CHOSE NOT TO WANT ONE UNTIL YEARS LATER TOO BAD SO SAD. MY 14 YEAR OLD GRANDSON HAVE A DEADBEAT FATHER WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN A FEW WEEKS AGO DECIDED THAT HE IS NOT HIS SON. THAT HURT MY GRANDSON SINCE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED IF HE LIVED OR DIED, AND EVEN THOUGH HE WAS ALWAYS A DEADBEAT FATHER MY GRANDSON ADMIRED HIM. I DON'T KNOW IF HE FEELS THAT WOULD GET HIM OUT OF CHILD SUPPORT OR SOMETHING BECAUSE HE HAD 3 COUNT THEM 3 OPPORTUNITIES FOR DNA TESTING AND HE DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR ANY OF THEM.
Comment by Ayana on January 20, 2010 at 6:09pm
I feel that if the mother knew then charge her a$$ with fraud and moneylaundering. I think they should do this to case where the mothers use their children like cash cows. Make her pay it all back and then some. Matter of fact sue her for distress.
Comment by Mstxscorpio on January 20, 2010 at 5:03pm
Just so long as you don't know it's not his baby, cause it's yours!
Comment by Alisonty03 on January 20, 2010 at 11:13am
I know what I'm waiting for; a case in which the "fooled" father sues the "real blood" father for the monies he paid for a child that's not his!!!! OK, that won't happen, but it should in some cases, especially when the "mother" claim financial hardship. When it comes right down to it, children should know who their parents are, I don't want to contemplate the instances when people that didn't know unwittingly committed incest!!!!!! Hey, it happens.
Comment by SugahBrown on January 20, 2010 at 5:21am
Once I find out, it will not be a secret any longer.

If I know who the true father is, he will know as soon as I know.
Comment by SirLaundria on January 17, 2010 at 9:49pm
I say it is a family decision and to stay out of it....


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