I get this statement often from women 37-55 years old; especially those still rearing children. They are usually divorced, willowed or in their 40’s and never married.
I can understand this arrangement and why so many prefer to escape the daily drama of working on a relationship.
Here are my questions:
• Have you defined or examined the rules of this arrangement?
• Have you defined exactly what companionship means to you?
• Are you really escaping the drama?
• Do you still see yourself exclusive with this person?
• Are you using this term just to attract a particular person?
I am finding that this type of arrangement is only rhetoric to most who are involved. The relationship is never look upon as companionship only because feelings become attached; especially on the woman’s part and the man becomes territorial.
When a man tells you that he does want a relationship, listen to him. Then ask, what are you looking for? If he says companionship, get a definition of this and for the most part, it will be just sex. This is ok, if you are just looking for sex but understand this; men who are not interested in reporting to a single woman will always use the companionship term. Also many women use this term to men in hope that the relationship will develop more in the future.
Here is the point. Be honest!! Yes, there are some who only seek a non-exclusive relationship with someone to have sex with and take a trip or movie now and then. However, most never establish the rules upfront and many get hurt if only one is clear about their goals.
Lastly, based on my research, I’ve have never seen a successful relationship in this manner that involved sex. I’ve seen many when the man was impotent and older but never when sex was involved. Feelings usually always entered one or either both parts. MOST ARE GETTING HURT!!!!!
I would love to hear you input.