I Don’t Want A Relationship; Just Companionship.

I get this statement often from women 37-55 years old; especially those still rearing children. They are usually divorced, willowed or in their 40’s and never married.

I can understand this arrangement and why so many prefer to escape the daily drama of working on a relationship.

Here are my questions:

• Have you defined or examined the rules of this arrangement?
• Have you defined exactly what companionship means to you?
• Are you really escaping the drama?
• Do you still see yourself exclusive with this person?
• Are you using this term just to attract a particular person?

I am finding that this type of arrangement is only rhetoric to most who are involved. The relationship is never look upon as companionship only because feelings become attached; especially on the woman’s part and the man becomes territorial.

When a man tells you that he does want a relationship, listen to him. Then ask, what are you looking for? If he says companionship, get a definition of this and for the most part, it will be just sex. This is ok, if you are just looking for sex but understand this; men who are not interested in reporting to a single woman will always use the companionship term. Also many women use this term to men in hope that the relationship will develop more in the future.

Here is the point. Be honest!! Yes, there are some who only seek a non-exclusive relationship with someone to have sex with and take a trip or movie now and then. However, most never establish the rules upfront and many get hurt if only one is clear about their goals.

Lastly, based on my research, I’ve have never seen a successful relationship in this manner that involved sex. I’ve seen many when the man was impotent and older but never when sex was involved. Feelings usually always entered one or either both parts. MOST ARE GETTING HURT!!!!!

I would love to hear you input.

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Tags: relationships


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Comment by nikki on September 18, 2009 at 11:31pm
I believe that women say they are looking for companionship not to scare off the men in question.. uuhmm..I think women as they get older know the likelihood of getting married or being in a serious relationship is slim, so they mentally settle--in hopes the male will see wifey qualities and have a change of mind wanting more than sex... wanting now a relationship...my opinion
Comment by ADva4u on September 18, 2009 at 12:56pm
You couldn't have broke it down any better! I may get some backlash from some women (as if I care), but most women who use the term, "Not looking for relationship, just companionship" are only fooling themselves. Been there, done that, and tore up the tee-shirt! We as women are highly emotional beings! - especially after sex enters the equation. Here's an example of our thoughts after it's (the d----) been put on us.... "Hmmm, he didn't call me yet (2 hours later) Maybe I should call him... no, he'll think I'm desperate... why did I give it up? Dayum, it was good... I wonder if he's thinking about me."

I don't think there's one woman who can say, at some point in her life, she haven't had a similar thought after engaging with someone she considered a "companion". And that's because we generally become emotionally involved at this point and now view the "companionship" more as a relationship. That's why we should be honest with ourselves by first being "in touch" with our true emotions. It'll spare us of unnecessary pain and drama. That's my (who still ain't got a man) lil' two cents... lol

Comment by Phil Turner, Jr. on September 18, 2009 at 11:56am
I understand your point but let's take a look at terms and the meaning. It only semantics in the manner you are using companionship. The term relationship has different meaning to many and technically you are correct. I do agree that it is recreational f***ing and a politically correct way of expressing this situation.

We just need to deal with how it is applied to this situation and get clarity before jumping in head first.


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