Flipping the Script: Why can’t women approach men?

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Comment by F. B. Stewart on April 16, 2010 at 3:35am

Its not that women dont approach men because women hit on me all the time. That just goes to show that we are naturally animals and the male has to appeal to the female if he wants to be noticed and possibly mate. All women have to do is show a little skin and men go lining up to drop a line if not more. Men have to show stability, confidence, will power, and worst of all patience. (Thats the part that makes us cheat) most men always have one girl that he can always go to that keeps him satisfied.. and really its only one. He might even love her but not the way he loves the one he is with. When a man is in the dog house and on sex restriction, he still has needs that the lotion will not cover. Most women can punish him in other ways but the ones that choose to clam up, dont be surprised. For the faithful men out there that take that abuse, U STUPID. from my experiences those are the men with the drinking problems, suicidal thoughts, stressed out all the time, and bad health(over weight). For me and my fellow improvisors DONT GET CAUGHT IN THE ACT.... even though i wrote this i can still deny it and get away. DENY DENY DENY. works everytime. again guys and girls DONT GET CAUGHT and DENY DENY DENY

Comment by Raybee jr on April 15, 2010 at 4:13am

WHO SAID WOMEN CAN'T APPROACH MEN?

SEEMS TO ME THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME.

Comment by Patrick on April 14, 2010 at 1:37pm

Sorry Cindy, I didn't read you second post. That makes things a whole lot different. Based on what you said about being together for three years if he was angry about the proposal, then he probably was stringing you along. If a brother cant make up his mind after three years he got to comfortable. Be Blessed.

Comment by Patrick on April 14, 2010 at 1:27pm

I stand firm on my point Cindy. I do understand your point and what you did. Your earning power does not give you the right to assume the Man's inate desire to be a hunter. Your results should speak for itself. My point is a woman approaching a man should only be done as an ice breaker, to open the door and expose the welcoming mat, to le him know that you are interested, if he is. Then it is up to him to persue you. Its like playing tag; then he is it.

Comment by Lady"G" on April 13, 2010 at 8:12pm

who say's we can't and don't approach them.

Comment by Patrick on April 13, 2010 at 7:21pm

Cinderella, your approach is not what we are talking about. That was the extreme.
S.E. I think it is safe to say we are talking about real men. Approaching a man is with the intension of breaking the ice. Not to buy him a diamond ring to get marrried the next day...what the hell? What did you expect?

Comment by Rags on April 13, 2010 at 5:37pm

My experience is that white women don't hesitate to approach you and send a strong signal, sister's are a lot more reserve they tend to hang back and send little mini signals when they are interested. Part of it is their old school mind set and it's safe, they avoid rejection.

Comment by BettyeK on April 13, 2010 at 5:27pm

Dionne, thank you so much for your comment for it is the truth and I do approve 100%. Rejection is very much alive and well these days and I for one am proud to be a Black Female and very much in love with my black brothers. I am so proud you have your king and I know there is one out there for me as well. You go Girl!!

Comment by BettyeK on April 13, 2010 at 11:17am

I feel the only reason women don't approach me is the fear of rejection. However if I see someone that catch my eye I am not ashamed to approach them. I may be 60+ but I am definately not dead.

Comment by Dionne on April 13, 2010 at 11:10am

Personally, I grew tired of waiting for a man to approach me. Most of the time, they would stare and assume that I had a boyfriend or husband. Black women are less likely to marry than any other race of women. I believe we should take matters into our own hands, instead of continuting to allow brothers to overlook us for that aggressive white girl. Brothers complain about black women being unapproachable. We shouldn't make them feel that way. If we see an attractive man, we should approach him with confidence. Until we begin to override that angry black woman sterotype, we will need to show men that we are as friendly as women of other races but maintain that no nonsense persona. If you approach a man looking unsure about yourself, then he's going to feel that way too. I'm married now, but I'm still a social person. Meaning, when my husband introduces me to his friends, I can hold a conversation with them. They appreciate that. His friends can't stand a woman who can't open her mouth and join in a conversation just because she's new to the group. I'm not a woman will who tag behind my husband like a shadow. He may be the only person in a group that I know, but I can still hold my own in conversation. It's embarrassing for a man to approach a woman and get turned down. Ladies we need to remember also. Men are reluctant to approach a group of women. Even if you came to an area with a group of women, seperate yourself a few times from them. I guarrantee you that brother that was watching you will speak to you quicker and/or it gives you the oppportunity to aproach him without an audience. Worked for me! I met my husband over 10 years ago. We didn't get together back then but he never forgot me. He had never met a woman who spoke to him the way I did. When he met me again he could recall conversations we had 10 years prior. I didn't approach him either time, but I made myself approachable in both instances.

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