Dating Single Men/Women with Children

Is it wrong for a single man to decide to only date women without children?

By the time a man is in his 30s most of the women his age have children. Either they got them when they were in their late teens or early twenties. I dont want to make anyone feel like their children are liabilities when it comes to dating but when you meet a man who has no children, is it right to "expect" him to assume responsibility for your earlier life choices?

I believe that if a man is interested in a woman who has children then he should be prepared to treat her children as his own, but we all know there are issues that arise when dating people who have children with another person...whether that other person is actively in their lives or not. Issues the children have with their parent dating, issues with finances, issues with disciplining, etc., arent easy to deal with....not that they should be.

So, if a single man with no children decide that he only wants to date women who have no children, in order that they may build a life for themselves without prior baggage, he limits himself in his options since there are so few single women over 30 without children....but is it also disrespectful somehow to women who have been with men who basically didnt stay with them and take care of their responsibility? Is it a default penalty for the upcoming guy to bear the burden of another mans children and the womans mistake in the choice of previous men?

Ive met women who I gently rejected because they had children and they seem to really take it personally. I dont get it. Why? Why do women seem to think men are suppose to want them regardless of how they look, what they think or say, how they act, etc.? Why do so many seem to think that only men are supposed to "be prepared" for rejection?

How would you handle it? Would you ask upfront if a woman has children and then just not call her? Would you wait til youve gone on a date or slept together? If youre a woman with children and you met a man you thought was attractive and interesting enough to date, how would you want him to handle it?

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Comment by LaShawn Denise Baker on April 25, 2011 at 5:59pm
I will be honest I have dated men that did not have children and did not go well because as a "good" parent you will put your child first, which may or may not be something a single person can understand. There is also the addative that if the relationship gets serious the other person may not be able to reproduce which will be unfair to the person that don't have children and may want some.  So I prefer a man to have children or be old enough no to want children.
Comment by evonna on October 26, 2010 at 2:24am
In response to Nyorkyanks answer regarding should a single man be entitled to date a woman with no children.I am a single woman with no children and I say YES!YES! I have encountered the same problems u discussed and the bottom line is.Everything u stated the issues are always there.God forbide the kids are bad.and the daddy's/momma's are a nightmare.its two much two deal with.I have dated men with children and it's just two much drama. Men actually look and have asked me what's wrong with me because I DONT have kid's.WHAT the?(like something's wrong with me)But, they never stop and think that we were single for however many years for a REASON. now, i LOVE kids(i have lot's of nieces&nephews) But,let's be honest: There not having the kids for the right reasons.Yes,u can make a mistake but,really after 2 start thinking.(a lot of resposibility comes with having kid(s)And,It's never the kid's fault.They didnt' ask to be here.Reality is,EVERYBODY is NOT good MOMA/DADDY (Material)!!! and what's really bad I have seen it time and time again is where they want your help(financialy) with the kid(s) but, u cant have any say so in discipling them(not abuse) that's wrong. and iv'e discovered if it's a man he usually wants two put all the responsibility on me two raise his kid's(play moma)WHAT? DONT you feel bad about your decision.Believe me. I dont want to.and dont care who get's offended. By the way in my world(smile) i no a lot of females over 30 who do not have kid's. take care my friend.
Comment by Ramona on June 30, 2009 at 9:03pm
I think it is ok for you to feel like that because kids can bring on other types of stress in a relationship and most women are fulltime parents and let’s face it they may want you to take on some parenting. I use to be that way and would not date men that had kids but now that I am 35 I find myself more open to it. If they are sweet, loving, respectable kids you may find that they are not a burden on the relationship.
Comment by Cole513 on June 30, 2009 at 8:47pm
Good evening, I respect your choice. The best thing about you knowing what you want is avoiding potential conflicts as well as giving the woman and yourself respect to move on without negative .feeings, in my opinion. I wish you well in your dating experience, I hope you find the one that is made just for you. Great post!
Comment by Sonya on June 30, 2009 at 7:20pm
Do what you have to do to make you happy.....if you love someone unconditionally it shouldn't matter....but i can understand a person having doubts about raising kids that are not their blood......you know the drama that can come w/ it sometimes....
Comment by Pitt on June 30, 2009 at 6:55pm
Granted you may gain or miss out on experience with peokple with/and without children each has pros and cons. But It's only wrong if "you" think it's wrong. intimacy, dating, love are all so personal that only the two people involved can say what's right and or wrong. As a single parent I personally think women seeking to date me need to be mature enough to accept me and mines if not I get ghost real fast


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