Celibate for 2010: Why some women have decided to do without

When most people think about celibacy, images of nuns, spinsters and unattractive women who – despite trying – just can’t get a man come to mind. But, in reality, female celibacy spans a much broader spectrum. In fact, many women are actually choosing to be celibate. And they’re not nuns, or spinsters or unattractive in any way.

What causes a woman to explore celibacy?

Some women find that they have improved intimacy in the celibate life, and deeper, more romantic friendships with both men and women.

So, how do you feel about celibacy? Is it possible to make celibacy into a positive choice in such a sex-mad world?

If you're a woman practicing celibacy what motivated you?

Post your comments!

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Comment by Genevieve LeLanne on October 20, 2011 at 7:18pm

Come November it will be five years of celibacy. I am a born again believer and have had times of celibacy, but always backslid. At this point, I believe we are in the end days and I don't want to get caught practicing SIN when Christ returns for me. I met a man recently and things got pretty dicey; I almost gave in. I broke up with him and we still talk. He is still 'trying' to arrange for sex with me, even though six months have passed since we were together. I feel the Lord has placed a hedge around me so that any plans to see this man are thwarted. What is interesting is that this man says he was saved when he was 18 (he is now 42, never married, no children). He does not live for Christ but respects that I do.

I believe the Lord has promised to heal his backsliding and that we will marry. I have no idea when and have struggled with doubt vs faith over this matter. Come what may, I am still going to be celibate until I marry. If I am wrong about this man, I will still remain celibate.

Fornication is a very serious sin. I see how blinded people are by the devil re: SEX. The devil has used sex as a tool to destroy lives, families, marriages. I am sickened at the check out counter at Walmart to see magazines on the rack, where kids can see them, advertising 'new sex secrets' boldly on the cover.

I decided to do things Christ's way, not mine. My way brought pain and sorrow and only by His grace have I not died. Sex is actually disgusting to me when there is no committed bond. If I marry I am not going to the local courthouse...I will find a pastor to come to us and marry us in front of witnesses, speaking words from the King James Bible, maybe from the Song of Solomon. The Bible does not speak of going to the world's authorities to get married. As long as the Lord is in it, and witnesses are present, and a man of God does the service,I consider it a Biblical marriage.

As for this man that I believe was promised to me......it looks impossible. Really and truly. Admittedly, lately he has said a few surprising things that could indicate the Holy Spirit is at work....but he is very sexually attracted to me and never lets up on the asking, lol. BTW he claims he has been celibate for a year and a half himself, not by choice, but since his 'last' girlfriend. If this is true it's actually funny because he is soooooooo excuse me, horny. Then he'll tell me he's depressed with no sex drive. The Lord needs to corral this character and get him under His control, lol.

I pray for him nevertheless,, that he will become the man that Jesus Christ wants him to be, and return to the little flock in repentence. I can do without a man, but if Christ has actually picked one for me and made a promise, I should listen.

Do you know how hard it is to wait on the Lord? I call it walking the tightrope blindfolded.

Comment by Cristal Allen on January 26, 2010 at 4:02pm
I always wanted to wait until I got married to have sex, but... it didn't happened...lol! I held out until i was 19 (now 30) and may I add, my first time was no fairytale as I expected, it was a horrifying experience! But I didn't stop after that either...lol! I have had sex with 7 guys (out of the 7 i only enjoyed it with 2) in my lifetime and I have nothing show for it! These people are no longer in my life, but yet they have a part me. I really feel once you have sex with so one, what more can you give?? Sex can either give life (birth of a child) or take life (AIDS) and I'm not ready for either one, so I now pratice celibacy and I made a vow to God that I would wait for husband...my husband and God are worth the wait!

Comment by Belle on January 23, 2010 at 3:43pm
I have only been celibate for 6 months and honestly it's one of the hardest things I've had to do but I know it's something I have to do for myself. It's not easy but I believe I will become a stronger and better person because of my celibacy.
Comment by Deb on January 23, 2010 at 8:31am
As a woman who is celibate, it's more or less a matter of choice. Honestly, who wants too spend time being a recepticle for some man's sperm? I know I don't, and many other women don't either.
Celibacy is truly a matter of choice. It gives a person a chance to see where the other person's head is really at? Ask yourself something like, is he/she really worth me giving my body to? Your body is your most prized possession, why abuse it by being someone else's plaything. And if the person you are involved with cannot handle this important life choice for self preservation, then are they really worth YOUR time?
Comment by Sonja Bachus on January 23, 2010 at 7:46am
I have been celibate for nearly two years. I made this choice after breaking off an engagement in February 2008. Since then I have made a decision to be extremely selective about who I share my body with. Since I am still celibate I guess I can say that no one I have dated since has been "worthy" of me opening up my heart and body. For me, it all goes together. My heart has to be in it or I can't put my body in it. So...I am still waiting. By the way, my life has changed significantly since I have been celibate. I will finish my Master's Degree in August and I was recently promoted to a much higher level management position in my organization. Last, but most important, my good realtionship with my sons has turned into great relationships. My overall focus has completely changed. So, why mess up a good thing unless I am really sure its worth it?
Comment by Renee Dais on January 23, 2010 at 7:10am
I love & respect myself, so I take good care of myself. I am not interested in being used & abused. Until the right Godly man comes my way, I am not interested. I am not interested in short term gain & long term pain.
I respect Pres. Obama, because he is a good family man, husband, and father to his children. It is very clear that he and Michelle are madly in love & they both respect each other. He is not a fly by night, that my teachers warned us about in high school. Some men do not know how to make a lady feel special.
Comment by Roland Israyl Wilson on January 22, 2010 at 11:02pm
celibacy is fine in today's society, but the true question should be, Are you truly celibate? By this I mean,"are you using a lot of batteries"?, or is self fornication ok?
Comment by Myla Jones on January 22, 2010 at 9:29pm
After trying it my way with little success, I decided to try it God's way. So far, so good!
Comment by Carol Christian on January 22, 2010 at 7:27pm
It is the right choice. Women and Men are taking their lives for granted everyday. God sends someone who appreciates giving that part of themselves and values you as a person. That should be what's important to all of God's people.
Comment by PD on January 22, 2010 at 5:03pm
I have been celibate for the past 14 years following a divorce. I chose to focus on raising my child and the messages my behavior would send to her. We are more than what is between our legs. I am older and no longer want to be with a person who is not interested in the total me. Until, there is a Godly man with intelligent conversation and more to offer than just sex, I will remain as I am and be just fine. Life moves on!


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