After the love is gone: Signs that your partner is disconnecting emotionally and sexually


You have a feeling in your guts telling you that your partner is cheating, you are not sure what to do about it, do you hire a private investigator or confront your partner about it?

The feeling isn't going away, but you know that if you do try and confront your partner the "ish" is going to hit the fan!

So what are some signs to look for before you go in for the conversation?


- They stop wanting to having sex!

- Long gone are the days of having orgasms!

- Date night mysteriously stopped!

- No more morning showers together!

- Oh no! You can’t remember the last time they kissed you?

- All of a sudden they're sneaking out of the house like some 16 year-old! “I had an errand to run”

- Hhmm, when did those mysterious phone calls begin?

- You can’t pay them to hold your hand

- You cant help put notice your partners car mileage/gas is significantly different. If your partner has the same routine everyday but there is a lot more miles on the speedometer and more gas being used possibly signs of a cheater!

- Lastly, you begin to notice the permanent indent in the living room sofa! You’re sleeping in different beds!


These are just a few of the excuses cheating spouses make to avoid getting caught or to throw there significant other off. Cheaters will do and say anything to hide the fact that they are cheating.

If you notice some of these signs, see what kind of things your partner says to prove his actions or innocence. Does these things they are saying add up? If they are working late, can they verify this. If they had an errand to run, what was it.

You can get deep down into these excuses or strange behavior by actually getting your partner to prove what they are telling you. You don’t even have to let him know you are suspicious. You can even take matters into your own hand once you can verify that these excuses and lies aren’t adding up.

What do you think? Do you have an over active imagination or is there some merit to what you’re thinking?

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Comment by JoAnn Johnson on August 7, 2009 at 4:23pm
yES, I WOULD AGREE THAT SOME OF THE THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE ARE TRULY ARE SIGN OF CHEATERS! PARTICULARLY WHEN THINGS START BEING VERY DIFFERENT IN CHARACTER WITH NO
INTERNAL REASON! - jOANN, aRLINGTON, va
Comment by GAIL on August 4, 2009 at 10:21pm
If you have been with a person for sometime, its not hard to tell if they are cheating. I would never go through extremes to break up. It is what it is and the ony time that I have conversation is if we have property together. Other than that its a wrap and I dont ever go back for no reason.
Your sister in the struggle. PEACE
Comment by love jones on August 4, 2009 at 12:18am
and your orgasms (not the cheaters) stopped long ago, and he no longer cares to impress you in the bedroom or in any other arena for that matter. All though you find yourself working harder than you ever have for his attention...And he still won't pay you any attention
Comment by Marsha on August 3, 2009 at 9:47pm
If you're not having sex, communication is a problem, and s/he is coming up short on where they been or going. If you're searching for clues that s/he is cheating than maybe your just looking for an excuse to end it. I think you should let go and let God take control. Remember you can't play both positions.
Comment by CJfrom Jersey on August 3, 2009 at 9:05pm
You can tell if he stop asking you out and want to go alone. Its many ways to tell. And also when you are talking and they dont want to listen anymore. When dinner is cook and he comes home late and dont want to eat go right to bed and turns his back on you. mmmmmm.
Comment by VRO on August 3, 2009 at 8:23pm
Why waste all the time hiding and sneaky...just leave and cause less pain down the road.
Comment by DJ Honcho on August 3, 2009 at 7:09pm
The signs are a tad bit vague and can easily be taken wrong!

Your partner has more mileage on the car: taking the time they no longer have to them self to clear their head and put up with the drama and b.s. YOU by chance might be bringing to them.

They voluntarily choose to sleep in another bedroom or on the sofa?
That's the read flag to CHECK YOURSELF instead of breaking out the spy decoder kit!
Hold off of pulling cell phone bills for the last 2 years, checking the bedroom and house for Blues Clues, hacking into their social networking accounts will only show that you are insecure and guess what?
You find no EVIDENCE because that have not begun to cheat only contemplated it. And knowing now you have no trust in their actions, you can basically open Pandora's box on the matter when they only needed to take that extra 20-30 min drive home to get a clear head.
After that, they will go underground on you and if they cheat, you will ever EVER know.

Here's technique I call the jedi mind trick that works well with either gender: Take note.
Instead of point out the issues to them, ask "where am I going wrong in this relationship?"
Say nothing when they give you a list (resist the urge to go back into combat mode ladies) just listen. remove any anger you may have in knowing the truth.
The key you are looking for is the "nothing you are doing wrong" line. that mean they have problems and they just do not want to bring it to you.

If you have a 3rd eye and want to save the relationship, you step up to help if it comes to getting that person some counseling (without you there) then do so. If you think your in Phyc degree from the local community college can fax it, then start packing your bags now!
Just because there is "nothing wrong" does not automatically that everything is right.
If you are not willing to undergo a analysis by a unbiased 3rd party then you have issues too!

Always check yourself first before you assume it's someone else.
Comment by SirLaundria on August 3, 2009 at 6:04pm
It's so easy to catch a liar.....They will lie until they think they have argued you down but it doesn't change the fact that what's done in the dark...........
Comment by Kramia Nixon on August 3, 2009 at 4:45pm
You no when your man or husband is cheating because he does all that and more you no when he is paying for things for the other woman and you no when he wants to play daddy with her kids because he will put his own kids on the back burner just so he can look like he his the right man for her he will pay her bills to getting her hair done from paying her rent men will start off like this with a new woman insted of putting all that effort in there marrige now you tell me who is a sloppy cheater
Comment by Mina on August 3, 2009 at 4:27pm
second phone for that so-called new business, starts forwarding home calls to his cell phone, new male friend that you never heard of before is always calling cause he's going thru something right now...lol, starts arguments out of nothing, starts allowing you to re-decorate at his expense (to keep u busy), so called part time job, on call for new position,,, got plenty...lol


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