The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low:
Women share their stories of betrayal, pain and survival
By Joy Marie
Three years ago, Janine married Gary, her high school sweetheart. Gary was handsome, charming, successful, and an excellent father to Janine's teenage children from a previous marriage. They bought a beautiful brand new home in the suburbs and Janine thought she was living the American dream. That is until the day she listened to Gary's voice messages and heard another man calling her husband, "baby." Janine's perfect dream world quickly turned into a devastating nightmare:
“One night, around midnight, I was lying in bed feeling extremely sad and lonely. I had been crying all day. My husband was sound asleep beside me. Something told me to listen to Gary’s cell phone messages. I lay there for a while and contemplated what to do because I didn’t want to violate his privacy. The voice became louder and told me to check his cell phone. I slid out of bed and took Gary’s cell phone from his night table. I took it into the bathroom and listened to his messages from our children as well as other usual mundane messages. My hands were already shaking, it was almost as if I knew something disturbing was about to happen. Suddenly, I heard a man’s voice calling my husband, “Baby.” My heart started pounding, I couldn’t breathe, and my body began to tremble from head to toe. The man was telling him how good he looked as he walked into the office today. He called him “his baby,” and sounded very proud. As I was reeling from shock, I heard another voice message from the same man, telling Gary he couldn’t get together with him at the job this weekend and he hoped he wasn’t mad. He also said, “The lifestyle is very difficult and he only wanted one thing.” He then said, “Baby, you really put something on my mind and I can’t stop thinking about it.” The tone was very intimate like a man would speak to his woman. I was in total shock.”
Sabrina was married to Steve, a minister of their church:
“A few weeks after being told of my husband’s secret homosexual escapades on the job, I was called into my pastor’s study where he sadly informed me that there had been multiple reports of my husband trying to pick up men in the congregation. I was told that Steve had made subtle comments that were sexual in nature that left the men feeling funny. The pastor told me there were five men who had reported to him about Steve trying to seduce them. This was very humiliating because my husband was also a minister at the church. Guys had confessed their struggle with feelings of homosexuality with Steve and he betrayed their confidence and abused his position and used their secrets to set up his own homosexual network in the congregation. I was appalled, humiliated and sick to my stomach. Its one thing to do this cruel thing to me, but to disrespect God enough to use his ministerial standing and his authority in the church to fuel his own perversion was reprehensible. Needless to say, after all of this, I had to get away from all of it. I left the church and had no desire to go to any church in that city. I was so paranoid and felt like I was wearing a scarlet letter that said “fool,” and everyone was whispering behind my back.”
The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low is a must read for all women. It was written by two women who have experienced the anguish and misery of being married to men on the down-low. They will share from the depths of their hearts, souls and minds as they tell their stories and the stories of other women who have lived through this experience. They will address the warning signs and answer many of your questions that have been ignored by other books written on the subject. Available at http://www.straightuptruth.com/, amazon.com, and cushcity.com.