Steve is an avid fisher and uses his love for fishing as a great analogy to the kinds of women men decide are keepers or playthings. This is when I think, a good deal of women may get offended but it’s also an opportunity to look at yourself and ask yourself if you are a keeper or a “throwback”
v …”Am man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it…and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how we see women.
v “…men are, by nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey….it used to be that a man ‘picked’ a wife…’asked’ a woman to dinner…We pursued…Women have bought into this for years, too….Flowers, jewelry, phone calls, dates, sweet talk-these are the weapons in our hunting arsenal when we’re coming for you. But the question always remains: once we hook you, what will we do with you?”
v “How we meet, how the conversation goes, the relationship develops, and the demands you make on a man will all determine whether you’ll be treated like a sports fish-a throwback or a keeper, the kind of woman a man can envision settling down with…”
v A Sports Fish: Doesn’t have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She’s the party girl who takes a sip of her Long Island iced tea….then announces to her suitor that she just want to ‘date and see how it goes’…For sure as she let’s a man know that he can treat her just any old kind of way, he will do just that. Men will stand in line to sign up for that…"
v A keeper: Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the moment you open your mouth…she commands –not demands respect, just by the way she carries herself. You can walk up to her and giver her your best game, and while she may be impressed by the what you say, that’s no guarantee that she’s going to let the conversation go any further, much less give you her phone number…Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they’ll have to get in line with her standards and requirements, or keep it moving because she’s done with the games and isn’t interested in playing….
v “Newsflash: it’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper-IT’S YOU! (Got to buy the book to get this point in full. It’s good too just too much to type.
v “Now revealing that you’re a keeper is no guarantee that this guy won’t just walk away. Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intentions of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the case with this man, let him walk. What do you care…If he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he’s going to treat you like a sports fish….”
Some examples of the differences between sports fish and keepers:
A woman who commands respect is a keeper, a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback.
A woman who is dressed appropriately-has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad dripping sex is a throwback.
A woman who won’t let you feel all over her body while you’re dancing is a keeper; a woman who drops it like it’s hot and puts on a dance floor performance that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is a throwback.
A woman who takes a man’s number but doesn’t give him her own is a keeper, a woman who hands out her home, work, and cell phone numbers and e-mail and home addresses to a man who’s done nothing more than buy her a drink and ask how he can reach her is a throwback.
A woman who knows she wants to be married and raise a family and lets a man know up front is a keeper; a woman who doesn’t have a plan for her relationship life beyond next weekend is a throwback.
HOW TO TELL IF YOU’VE MET SOMEONE LOOKING FOR A KEEP OR A THROWBACK:
If his conversation with you is extremely superficial, and never seems to graduate beyond the surface, he’s sports fishing; if he genuinely seems interested in your needs, life, desires, and future, then he’s looking for a keeper.
If he laughs off your requirements and standards then he’s sports fishing; if he seems willing to abide by your rules and actually follows through on them, then he’s looking for a keeper.
If he takes your phone number but waits longer than twenty for hours to call, he’s sports fishing; if he alls you right away, he’s showing that he’s genuinely interested in you, and is most likely looking for a keeper.
(Lorenzo may disagree about this one…I don’t know-lol. J/k) If he takes you out on a date and lets you pay, or only kicks in his portion of the bill, he’s sports fishing; if he pays the bill, he’s showing that he’s willing to provide for your, which means he’s likely looking for a keeper.
If he does not have himself together financially, emotionally, and spiritually, he may be sport fishing; if he is capable of providing and protecting his potential family the way a real man should, then he might be searching for a keeper.
If he lobbies for an ‘open’ relationship and says he’s cool with you seeing other people, then he’s sport fishing; if he wants your relationship to be exclusive and he agrees to date only you, he considers you a keeper.