Sexually submissive sistas, in the classic BDSM definition, pretty much fall into two categories. If a sista is sexually submissive to Black men, it usually means she's been the victim of sexual abuse and/or emotional molestation in her life and she has internalized her submissiveness as a part of her victimization. She sees being submissive as being erotic because she gains control over her abuse in essence. She can say that she chooses her abuse and she then feels empowered as opposed to the little girl or woman who was raped and used.

Sistas submissive to white men are those that are the ones that claim that color doesn't matter, we are all the same, that race is a social construct and the exact same women who criticize every action of black people as worse than a sin against God and claim to have no connection to anything Black. It's a classic case of Double consciousness gone awry. They present themselves as this colorless human being while trying to distance themselves from anyone that has their color that appears to be a connector to them being Black and crave humiliation and degradation from white men for being Black. Being submissive to white men absolves them of their blackness, they can be punished for being born the wrong color.

The majority of sistas outside of the BDSM community are EMOTIONALLY submissive to brothas, but not sexually. The vast majority of Black women uphold this notion that woman was created for man and that they have to yield to his every whim and desire and not hold him accountable for his actions because they want to be supportive and good. Black women are submissive but it's never enough to please the distorted egos of Black men who want more coddling and less responsibility for their foul behavior. It's precisely the fact that black women are so emotionally submissive, believing lies, tolerating abuse, enabling co-dependent behavior and never holding the men in their lives to task that black men want more and more justification for their foul behavior. They now demand a free pass with VIP privileges

Being emotionally submissive to a brotha means letting him “be the head of the household.” That’s just a way to say that he wants to have control over something in his life and he wants the woman in his life to be his property, not his partner. Being submissive to a brotha means not asking him to be accountable for his misdeeds and bad behaviors. If you really dissect the definition of being emotionally submissive, it really has to do with not challenging black men to address their own issues. Any man who needs his partner to be silenced in order for him to feel like a man is a piss-poor example of a partner. Sadly, that’s what most women are trying to do for men to prove that they are good enough. They bend over backwards to accommodate brothas and when they get sick and tired of it, they rebel by trying to be just as calloused, just as emotionally immature. That’s a sure recipe for disaster because the diseased perceptions haven’t been addressed in the first place.

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