Which do you believe is worse in marriage, you spouse going thru your things or hiding things from your spouse?

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Hello Aaron!! Hw r u?


Both; imo, one's no better or that much different from the other .....

"Your spouse going through ur things" ...... Hiding or concealing thgs/information from ur spouse is decietful - "things" (material goods/stuff) techincally bcome "ours" ...... being married doesn't mean that one gives up their individual identity, howevr it does mean that "you are not your own" ...... So when it comes to personal thgs(belongings) , there should be respect for each other's personal space, but neither should hv anythg that the other is not allowed to see .... jmo.

Cosign on all that Lady J. Being married doesn't mean u give up all of your privacy where a spouse feels they can freely snoop through your things without asking you about it First.

We're not kids. We're grown adults. No need to go through my things Without Asking Me First. It's a matter of Respect. Just the same you should not be goin through your spouses things without asking them about it First.

Only exceptions should be if they are very sick and u need information for the hospital, or any emergency situation.

Other than that its an invasion of privacy and disrespectful.

I agree, both is wrong & equally as bad or wrong. They both carry a spirit, the same spirit behind them.

Aaron,

when a spouse goes thru your things is a reflection, byproduct of .... hiding things from your spouse,

actually, its a sign of "love" to maintain the marriage as "switched" as that sounds, smiles .... 

Hi Shadow, hw r u?

How is snooping through ur spouse's thgs a sign of love? ..... sounds more like insecurity &/or trust issues to me .... lol

Lady J,

I am good, thanks for asking .... how are you, smiles ....

the spouse hasnt (bailed) rather trying to re-secure the marriage .... FYI: spouses REQUIRE transparency .... someone forgot their "Vows" .... someone is up to {no good} > get counseling !!!  

Shadow
I am fab! Thank u ....

I wouldn't say that, "smeone is up to smethg" or that it means smethg's amist; hiding dirty li'l secerts ..... For me, its more abt respecting each other's personal space, example: going through my purse or looking through my phone or checking/reading my emails, checking my MC or fb page, ect .... thought i'd have nothing to hide & would allow my spouse to look, in fact probably even show it to him, but please sak & don't snoop. When ppl snoop through each others personal thgs its disrespectful, and, imo, its a sign of trust issues; beside, when u go snooping/searching for trouble u usually find it.

I hv a friend who recently got married .... she's shared w/ me her trust issues, steming from her father (the doating husband, church guy) who cheated on her mom, his cheating eventually broke the marriage ...... Anyways, she calls me & says, "my husband left his phone at home this morning, he accidently picked up mine & left me his, I thk its a sign that I should look through it" ... I respond, "a sign from the devil lol; if u go snooping & looking for trouble u'll find it" she then says, "I don't care if he looks at mine cos I hv nothing to hide, but I told u abt his ex girlfriend & I knw she still calls him" ...... long story short, she looked & found text messages between him(her husband) & one of her friends, well she was LIVID!! Confronted her husband, went ballistic!! ...... Only to later, after all that ruckus, to find out her husband was planning a surprise for her on their 6 months of marriage, but since she acted such a fool she ruined the surprise, & caused a buncha DRAMA lol ...... I told her, she was going to really hv to work on her trust issues (get sme counsel) b4 she wreaks her marriage. ...... Just b/c u (generally speaking) have "trust issues" steming from past hurts/rel'ships, doesn't mean ur spouse is untrust worthy ..... that's where I agree, as Shadow said, "Seek counsel"

Scripture says, "be wise as serpents, harmless as doves" ....... He (The Spirit of Truth) will show u what u NEED to see/know ...... know/learn the difference between The Spirit of Truth & the angle of light; one is a counterfeit, which at first may "appear" to be helpfulf or of Godly intentions.

Lady J,

behind every crime there's "motive", i.e., DAWGS (unmarried) in "Heat" is not a crime .... "adultery" is a crime, a spouse protecting their (marriage) is healthy, smiles .... NOTE: quoting Scripture out of both sides of your mouth is hypocritical > MADNESS !!!  

Shadow

I soooo don't follow(understand) anythg u just said .... is that a riddle? Lol ..... but it's all good "smiles" ;o)

Lady J,

I know ....

Shadow, yes it does sound, switched, but I do understand what you are saying.

when husbands dont (love) their wives USUALLY in return, wives dont (respect) their husband .... resulting in blame-shifting, finger-pointing >>> immature adults ....

most will never get it, grow up .... husbands need to be flogged (why?) he's the leader > its his responsiblity .... I dont blame wives (why?) they are the "weaker vessel" .... notwithstandng, it doesn't take them off the hook, in spite of .... unfortunately divorce occurs and the children get "scarifaced" .... following their disfunctional (single parent) example, you know the rest of the story .... ugghhhhh !!!

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